Thursday, October 17, 2013

Picking up the brush -- sad and happy

 Today's flowers from the garden
Watercolour and black marker on 
watercolour paper
6 x 9.5 inches
Barbara Muir © 2013
My sweet mother died on Sunday morning
last weekend. After my mother died
Steven and I had lunch with my brother,
my niece and my son and his wife.  I know
we were in shock, and horribly sad, but
we were also so happy to be together.

We drove home from Ottawa in the rain which seemed
apt.  I have never known such profound grief.
In Toronto our two Thanksgiving dinners
with family, were good -- the food delicious,
but the ache of knowing my mother wasn't
in the world anymore permeated every conversation.

Today I knew in my soul that my mother wants
me to carry on, to make art, to live life with
every fibre of my being.  So I went into the garden
and picked this small bouquet.  It made me feel
a taste of the delight I knew being in the world
as my mother's daughter -- a flicker of happiness
started in my heart.  One day I will be fine.

Meanwhile tell everyone you love that you love
them.  Spread love anywhere you can.  Yes
it does matter.  It all matters. And you matter to me.

Have a spreading-the-love day.

12 comments:

Michelle V. Alkerton, mixed media artist said...

I am so sorry for your loss. May good memories keep her always close in your heart.
Stay inspired!

Bigwom said...

Lovely Barbara

Laurel Daniel said...

Barbara, I'm so glad you have your loving family and the comfort of your art around you in this sad time. Thank you for sharing the tenderness of what you are going through - you are strong and brave. I will keep you in my heart and prayers. Love, Laurel XOXOXO

Sally Dean said...

sending a hug. I know too well how much it hurts.
I hope you find comfort in the beauty around you and in the beauty you create.
xoxo

Sally Chupick said...

Barbara, I am really sorry for you. I know the ache of losing your mother. It's profound, as you have said. I wish you gentle healing one step at a time, as you recover from the shock of the loss. We were also in Ottawa on Saturday for the funeral of my dad's partner Diana, who had been him 20 years, he met her 1 year after my own mother died. It was peaceful and a graceful end to a long and happy life. Bless you while you go through this difficult period. You're right it all matters a lot to love and be loved, it's really ALL that matters in the end.

Kim Rempel said...

Dear Barbara, I just want you to know I'm thinking of you and about the death of your Mom and how you must all be doing. I can't even imagine. Hugs.

Barbara Muir said...

Hi Michelle,

Thank you so much. She is close in my heart, and does inspire me.

XOXO Barbara

Barbara Muir said...

Hi Auralee,

Thank you so much. I am trying to figure out how to get you to see the paintings. In this past hard month, your loving family has kept me happy with your wonderful help.

Thank you.
XOXO Barbara

Barbara Muir said...

Hi Laurel,

Thank you. My feelings are so up and down. One day I think I'm fine, and the next I'm arguing about nothing. But I feel totally blessed by my immediate family, husband, and sons, and my extended family and friends. So much kindness and support has come my way.

Thank you again. You are brave and loving, and inspire me.

XOXOXOXO Barbara

Barbara Muir said...

Hi Sally Dean,

I couldn't have imagined how hard it would all be, or how deeply I would miss my mother. But I do feel her with me, guiding me to keep on looking for the good in life, like she did.

XOXO Barbara

Barbara Muir said...

Hi Sally,

Thank you so much. I am so sorry for your loss. You can tell that you know how important love is, because it shines out from your face when you meet people. I will never forget how happy I was when I met you. So I trust that my joy will rise again as yours has, thank you.

XOXOXO Barbara

Barbara Muir said...

Hi Kim,

Nicki called me the other night and we talked about all of our work -- yours, hers, mine. We both think you are amazing, and love, love, love what you are doing. Thank you for your kindness and sweet word.

XOXOXO Barbara

Portrait Artist

My photo
Toronto, Ontario, Canada
I paint and draw on commission and for shows. To commission a portrait, or purchase one of my paintings please contact me at: barbara.muir@sympatico.ca
A major highlight in my career? Drawing Oprah Winfrey live via Skype for her show "Where in the Skype are you? Galleries: Studio Vogue Gallery, Toronto, Canada. The Amsterdam Whitney Gallery, New York City. Gallery at the Porch Door, Kingston, Canada. Your positive comments on this blog mean the world to me. I'd love to hear from you!